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Our Time Here

 

February 16, 2025 Wellington (NZ) Botanic Gardens 

My thoughts are with Mali who shared the passing of her dear husband this week. I don't know what it is to lose a beloved spouse. The sea of emotions must be truly overwhelming. Loss is personal and each of us finds a way to navigate the grief in our own way. Our time here on this planet is short and our one lasting legacy is the people we touch and the memories we share.

If I've learned anything over my 63 years it is that grieving is easier when we feel supported and seen. I see you Mali. I'm grateful that we had some time together in person -- the four of us -- to share food, wine and stories. Though it was only a weekend in each other's presence, the experience remains large in my life. There are few people I can say I've felt instantly at home with; you and D are two of those people. It was truly wonderful to be immediately and fully at ease with each other and bonded based on our collective experiences as involuntarily childless. I marvel at how at home we felt in your presence.

The flowers and plants we viewed in Wellington are among the most precious because we saw them together. The new dishes and wines we tasted are more special now that I know they were the first and last we would share with someone so dear to you.  

On Friday early evening when we heard the news, my husband and I teared up and reached for the tissues. Later, we opened a bottle of red wine because we saw that FB held a post from D and this picture:

Home of D's favourite brunch shiraz

Toasting you and he and celebrating his importance made us feel closer to you.

I've spent some time this morning reviewing your travel blog posts and FB updates capturing your more recent time exploring the world together.  If there's one thing that stands out, it's your shared curiosity and willingness to be there for each other. 

~~~

Mali: I re-read this passage from one of your No Kidding posts. It crystallized your dear husband and his devotion to you:

"During one trip, on a gorgeous island off the Queensland coast, we were talking about where to go next. We could hear the waves lapping against the beach as a gentle tropical breeze cooled the balcony where we were enjoying a lunch of beer-battered barramundi and champagne. How could we top this? ‘We need to put together a ten-year travel plan,’ my husband suggested. My heart lifted. I set to my task with enthusiasm, and over the next 10 years we saw many new places and had many new experiences. Every cloud has its silver lining."

Other posts reveal his kind sense of duty and quiet caring in so many ways. I know the transition you face will be immense. I wish the miles between us wasn't so vast. May you feel embraced with love and caring.  Sending you big hugs, my friend. 

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